What does it take, to get you to your knees? I have had, and indeed I am still, experiencing a season of disorientation that has driven me to my knees, leaving me wondering what is happening to my life.
It is not until you come before God, empty handed that you can truly say with any honesty you are reliant upon His grace and mercy. Such is the depth of His love in drawing you away from all that would hinder your walk with Him. In all the upheaval and confusion, the heartbreak and fear I am still standing.
My faith in times like this, and believe you me, I have had plenty over the years, is surprisingly rock solid. I cling to this Rock like it was my very next breath and I know that though I am challenged and desperate, that God is with me.
Sometimes, I feel a little bit like Lucy in C.S. Lewis’s Narnia tales that my sword is actually just a tiny dagger but beside me is Aslan, behind me is the full force of the God of the Universe who is roaring towards the enemy on my behalf, protecting me.
So, I am blessed, even in the direst of trials that besiege my heart and mind, yea even fear of my very life slipping. Therefore I can say that I am secure in this insecure place I find myselI in, I have deep peace just knowing He is never more than a prayer away.
When I feel the boat about to tip over, I cry out none the less desperately than Jonah’s fellow sailors did , “help!!!” is an excellent prayer. And through the messy, fearful steps I take, He guides and leads me onwards.
This is just a part of my journey, my story, and I know that if I were self-secure, self- anything really, in trying to hold it all together and do it myself I would be the poorer, the most miserable creature in fact.For, I would lose sight of God and I cannot imagine a worse fate than that.
And, I am not alone in this, I am privileged to walk with others equally (though not similarly) caught up in their own trials that knock them off their feet. We gird up our loins and raise our heads, choosing to believe and hope against all that we see, know or fear. We stand this day only in His strength and covenant blessings. I am proud of my Sisters in Christ.
Yes, we can say we are blessed in adversity and brokenness because behind us stands a much greater and stronger One who protects His beloved children. By faith, we choose to trust and keep on, keeping on.
Here is to all of you in whom this resonates, those of you who are waiting for the sun to come out again, for the road ahead to be smooth, for you who have felt this way and wonder why or when you might rise beyond all the pain and hurt, confusion and mess.Though we bare scars, remember, God is for you and not against you, remember just how far you have come, but don’t look back you are not going that way!
Remember, God is for you and not against you, remember Joy does come in the morning because behind you is ‘Aslan’ and He who has promised will reorientate your life again because His promises are all yes and amen, “Amen?”