Why do I write, draw, sing, create or dance? I do it all for Him. The ultimate expression of my creativity is to express who I am in Him and of my love and joy of being with Him.
Who is this, you might ask? Well, He is the one, The One who saved me, gave me a new life and in him I live and move and have my very being. I call Him Yeshua, though you may know His name as Jesus, Jesus Christ. He constantly inspires and encourages me, walks with me and protects and provides for me.
I can go nowhere without him and neither would I choose to. However, it was not always like this, once I was a mere shadow, timid and broken with no hope. When we first met I did not recognise Him or know His voice. I was disorientated and my understanding confused. I knew lots of people who knew Him but He was elusive to me and I would cry so easily. I did not understand those were healing, cleansing tears. My soul was being washed, yes I was literally brainwashed! Not in a cultic way of course, but more a gentle coming to perceive that my eyes needed salve to see and He healed me.
“Jesus healed me.”
Often to begin with I would go to Him and complain, or cry or shout at Him. He did not retaliate but continued to love me. No matter what I thought or how far I tried to run away, He was there. Sometimes I was so thankful for that because I felt like I had been sinking in life and now only marginally better I was in a very small boat on a very rough sea. This storm went on for months after month after year. I was caught in between complaining and feeling seasick or pleading for dry land and respite. Still we journeyed along.
The first stretch of calm waters and of a clearer view, overjoyed I thought and expressed my delight, “halleluyah!” I have made it and life is going to be okay!! Hmmm, not for long, we set sail again and towards a perfect storm brewing. Those waves rose higher than before and I hid in the small boat for fear of not making it. Here I came to realise I was not alone, other’s had joined in the journey and kept telling me to hang on, it is going to be fine. Keep your eyes up! I tried and after a time, this got easier to do. I had though He had left me, pushed this small boat out to sea and was on the shoreline in the far distance.
After one particularly rough day, I decided I might as well jump out and swim for it. I turned around, took and step towards the edge and I did not move, I seemed to be caught on something. Or more correctly I now know someone! I had walked straight into the safety of His arms. They held me so tight, it took my breath away. Panic and a drumming heart beating wildly, suddenly my legs gave way and I was melting. His gaze was so tender, so deep my only thought was love. I was secure and I think for the first in a long time, I breathed in and felt alive. The storm raged on but I was now not looking at it, but into the very face of God. He was singing, “haha” I started to laugh because I was suddenly so happy, and the joyful embrace went on and on. Something in me changed forever that day.
“I am forever changed, made whole.”
The journey was still tough, every day was like a roller coaster, of ups and downs but we moved on nonetheless. I started to unravel from the knots of who I had tried to be and started to flow freely in who I was always meant to be. I had from childhood loved to draw and write, read poetry and I was now living, really feeling life in all its amazing colours and glorious lightness. At a certain point, I remember that I suddenly was and had been changed and was trusting in Him. I cannot quite think what shifted in me to be in that place. I knew I now belonged to Him and that whatever stormy trials came, He was there and He promised to never leave me ever. Now secure and assured I was able to reach out and step by step, on hearing His voice within me I moved along. I overcame and I grew, stronger and bolder and further than I ever imagined.
“My Child I have loved you with an everlasting love.”
When doubts or fear drifted close to my mind threatening me, I would call or reach out and His hand held mine before I even asked Him. I still journey with Him, each day we talk and grow closer together, we at times are as one; Spirit to spirit. I desire to know Him more, as there is a depth and peace which He brings to my world where I am free to be myself. I can run wild and laugh, I can dance and sing, write or draw. All because I know I am His. This is not something solitary or just my experience alone, He can be found by anyone needing rescue on life’s stormy sea. He reaches out and takes hold of all who are sinking under the waves of hopelessness, despair, doubt and fear. If today you feel like you are drowning under these weights, in anguish and torment of your soul, I urge you cry out and acknowledge Him as Saviour, ‘the One who Saves’. That is what His name means, and why He came. For surely as the sun sets and rises each day, He is waiting for you. Yes, you. Do not discount yourself from rescue by Him. All you have to do is turn towards Him, make a decision to seek Him. He is near, not far. He will come because He loves you. As they say, time is of the essence, do not doubt any longer but believe.
“In Him is love, Joy, Hope and Peace.”
Let the joy of the Risen Lord lighten your life, He is for you and in love will be a true companion through life. I would rather be in His company than anything else, for He who is true promises this in the Word. This is a lifeline, a lifebelt. Grasp this and you shall have life. The life you always were meant to have on this journey. Please don’t travel alone, He can guide and lead you through, you will see and experience things you only ever dreamed of. God is the love you are craving to fill the hole in your soul. Come taste and see that the Lord of life is good and His love endures forever.
“In Him, I live and move and have my being.”
This is why I write, draw, sing, create or dance. I do it all for Him who loves me.