4AM And somewhere in my sleepy head I heard something. It was on the tip of my tongue, poised to leap from my brain to the page and it made my heart sing. But I fell asleep again, not having woken fully, and for the life of me can I recall it? No. It was a short poignant phrase that resonated within me, full of potential to springboard my writing. I feel somewhat disappointed that it has gone, though I don’t think I ever really possessed it. A fleeting thought that rested upon my almost conscious brain and slide off back into the depths of my dreams.
Has that happened to you before? A great idea escapes and runs away from you and, oh it would have been so good you ponder but just what was it?! Frustration and a blank space now fill the void and here I am bemoaning its loss. Maybe it will come back during the day, maybe.
7AM And directionless I thought, okay just start writing and see what happens, you might catch it again. The elusiveness of a butterfly; the vapour of fading fragrance; the breeze as it rushes by all speak of how difficult it is to seek after it again. Well wherever it has gone to hide, I shall not force it from its hiding place but wait upon it. Inspiration lacking on any particular theme then I turn to stare at the window, but I do not think inspiration is there outside. It is rainy and dull and no one is about yet.
Sometimes I wish that I lived by a river or the sea, now that is inspiring, eventful and surely has much to say; much to be caught and captured and written down. Or perhaps a rolling countryside scene with glorious views and a wee little church settled down in a valley. Then, maybe the city might prove full of action and adventures with characters that rush hither and thither. However, I sit here and outside will just not do it, this rainy, dull morning.
Into my mind jumps and lands the idea of living abroad, the inspired remembrance coming from so many TV shows lately with a sunnier, jollier environment. Yes, travel and foreign places always have much to say and can unravel a story or two can’t they? And who doesn’t like a holiday with excitement and time to explore the unfamiliar. Undecided still by this frame of mind that has a sleepiness to it , and with a definite lack of writing direction, I try to quiet my mind to focus. But I think of the post coming and what else I might do today that will unlock the words and help me to produce something of value.
Please do not get me wrong here upon this point, I certainly do not mean value as in material gain but rather a satisfaction of having created something. I do not wish to impress or draw much attention to myself, a natural introvert, that my personality recoils at. No, I desire to write for an audience of one, The One. That is my motivation and purpose to capture and express something of the Father’s heart, for that to me is more precious than gold or silver. If I can become a conduit of the Father’s love and share it, then surely I can say this is why I write. His words have the eternal power to transform lives and challenge perceptions and heal wounds. I cannot do any of that.
8AM And there is rather a wonderful moment when this happens, and those words flow down like a stream of water upon the page before you. I can see in my minds-eye a picture of alphabetic letters tumbling from above through the clouds and as they land upon a pure white sheet, speak words and form phrases. The flow is gentle and silent; it is peaceful and makes me feel in awe that when God speaks he can do so in many ways. He is the ultimate author and inspirer. I am so glad that I need not really stress about what I might or might not have captured, for the Father is always close and always speaking. I am reminded that I need only keep in step with the Holy Spirit and let him lead and guide me, my mind, my hands. Being open to receive is what is important and sooner or later, there it is! That word, that phrase, that idea, and plot. So I decide not to stress and whilst I wait, get on with my day trusting that there is plenty of time to write, to create, to capture on paper.
10AM And I consider to myself that I might take a walk in the rain. I look up from my desk with rambling thoughts slowing, the sky is far lighter now and the sun is shining again! The day progress forwards, as the weary world awakens back to life with it’s busy back and forth activities which flow along with time and with purpose. Time for a cup of tea I think, whilst I wait for whatever comes along; be it inspiration or the morning post arriving!